The ex-factor

“Fall in love with someone who doesn’t make you think love is hard.”


The ex-factor, we all have it! 

There is always one ex that we can never fully get over and we don’t even know why. They seem to have such a mental hold on us, which is honestly mental torture in the worst form as you cannot escape your feelings and thoughts.

From my personal experience, I have huge detachment issues when it comes to any sort of friendship or relationship. If somebody starts to drift away from me, instead of doing the right thing and just letting them be or giving them space, I find it makes me react even more in the most clingy way! I literally can’t help myself.

So after being with my only true love and getting dumped, this was the most devastating experience for me. He was all I could think of, first thing when I woke up in the morning and the last thing whilst I was trying to get some sleep. 

It is quite sad how much one human being can have such an affect on your state of mind, mental health and your anxiety levels. Social media played a big part in terms of detachment issues too. Lucky enough, he was not on many social media platforms but I found I was constantly checking Whatsapp to see if he was online, wondering what he was up to and god forbid if he changed his display picture I even got a mini-panic attack. Believe me, I am so ashamed of this behavior but I really do let situations get the better of me.

I allowed this one individual to have such a powerful impact on my mental health, my emotions, my wellbeing and even my social life. 

So, how did I move on from the situation? 

Truth is, you never really get over somebody that you love and have an incredible amount of feelings for and an emotional attachment. I did, however, find my very own coping mechanisms which really did help my mind frame and allowed me to eventually move on from the situation and see it for what it really is.

  • Keep busy is my number one rule. I found surrounding myself with positive friends, activities and even going for a walk when I felt down was a huge help. 
  • It’s more than okay to cry! Don’t be ashamed or feel weak for crying. It is a natural emotional reaction and trust me, you feel so much better once you have had a little cry!
  • Do not agree to be ‘friends’ with your ex. You already have friends. You wanted them as a partner, not a friend. Besides it gets extremely messy, your feelings WILL get hurt and a friend does not make you feel sad or upset.
  • Always dress your best. Keeping yourself looking great and ‘at your best’ will help you also feel your best too. It’s okay to sit around and lounge around if you are feeling down but don’t do it too often. Get some fresh air, get dressed and keeping shining!
  • No contact rule. You may have read this a million times but it really does work. Delete their number from your phone and mute them on any social media (you don’t have to unfriend but be prepared to get your feelings hurt if you see something you don’t like!) Start off with 30 days, I had a little notebook and crossed off each day as it came and it get’s easier. Think about it, if your ex who dumped you wanted to contact you they would. Once the 30 days are over, you honestly feel very liberated, your expectations are lower and you feel empowered. Take the power back and don’t let anybody control you! If you have had no contact for 30 days, add another 30 days and then by the time you know it it would have been 2 months and hopefully your mind and heart will begin to move on – note how I didn’t say heal as it really isn’t that easy.
  • Write down the positive and negatives of the relationship. If the negatives outweigh the positives, you have definitely had a lucky escape! It really brings to life the reasons you broke up and be honest with yourself when writing this down. Be realistic and not in denial, this will help you in all situations in life.
  • Talk to people about how you are feeling, but don’t make it the topic of every conversation you have. During the first 30 days, he was literally all I would speak about to my friends. Think about it, they are there to help but they don’t want to just speak about one topic with you.There is more to you as a person than a break up – don’t let it rule your life!
  • Live your life for you. Don’t sit around posting sarcastic/subliminal social media status’s and certainly do not try and put suggestive pictures or try to put up things to make your ex jealous. They will see right through what you are doing and you will look childish and desperate. The element of mystery is surprisingly attractive!

bae68b3bfef58f9cf05d425075b4a76b.png

What did I learn from the situation? 

  • I have a lot of truly supportive friends who were there for me, even though I had excluded myself from them during the relationship.
  • I realized that I had let somebody take such a hold of me emotionally that I lost myself. Taking care of yourself is the number one rule, always.
  • Why am I so upset over somebody who has made me feel this way? Even if it wasn’t on purpose. Somebody who truly loves you will not make you feel this way, even if they break up with you, it doesn’t need to be messy!
  • It is okay to be single or alone. You get to enjoy your own company, learn about yourself, learn self-control and it is so empowering when you realize that somebody does not have a hold on you.
  • Some relationships are not forever and things do not always stay the same in life. Learn to take every situation as it comes and see the positive. Hey, you are not together but you still have your own life, your own plans and goals to achieve and you are responsible for your own happiness, nobody else. 
  • Lastly, I learned that they too stalk you on Whatsapp when they accidental missed call you. How the tables have turned!

“You were happy before, you will be happy after.”

This is probably the most heartfelt and emotional post that I have blogged so far and I truly hope that this post indeed helps somebody who is going through a similar situation or needs some guidance.  

Hoping you find the happiness you deserve!

 

National Puppy Day – 23rd March 2017

National Puppy Day! 

O.M.G I love puppies! Today is ‘National Puppy Day’ and I thought I would use this opportunity to share the cuties puppies I have ever seen! Scroll through and remember to say ‘Awww!’ – Enjoy!
Let the cuteness begin…

black-labs-puppies-1024x564

Quick mum – take a picture!

cute-puppies-kissing-dogs-photo-32394360-fanpop

First Kiss.

e8d830d848f50e9fab804a6be5e84602

Dressed and ready for bed…. *yawn*

159576-Cool-Dogs

Magazine shoot *Vogue*

cute-puppies-wallpapers-picture

Just hanging out in the ball pit.

sleepingpuppy4

Feeling cute.

IMG_0780

Always one naughty sister.

tumblr_static_tumblr_static_filename_640

A puppy wrapped in a Tortilla – Awww (just don’t eat him!)

84fefce96b25e442f3652b9224835bba

Give me attention!

tumblr_static_filename_640_v2

Being cute is so tiring!


Share this post to celebrate your love of puppies and share the cuteness!

Raspberry & White Choc Cookies

Raspberry & White Chocolate Cookies 

Today I made these delicious cookies for my work colleagues and they were so yummy I just had to share the recipe so that you too can make these!     

They take 45mins from start to finish and makes up to 30 cookies depending on how you roll them.

Ingredients

  • 225g unsalted butter,softened
  • 225g caster sugar
  • 170g Carnation Squeezy Condensed Milk
  • 100g frozen (or fresh) raspberries
  • 300g self-raising flour
  • 100g white chocolate, broken into chunks

IMG_5834

Method 

  • Heat the oven to 180 degrees (160 fan oven)
  • Cream butter, sugar, and condensed milk until light and fluffy
  • Add in the white chocolate chunks
  • Mix the flour with your hands, to form a nice soft cookie dough
  • Gently mix in the raspberries
  • Grease and line baking tray(s)
  • Roll the cookie dough into balls and press down gently on a baking tray
  • Bake for 12-15mins until golden but not too dark

FullSizeRender

Tips 

  • I use two baking trays at once to bake 9 cookies on each tray and bake in batches
  • If there is a lot of raspberry juice in a cookie, bake for slightly longer as the cookie will be quite wet and take longer to cook
  • Take the cookies out of the oven and out of their tray (lifting the greaseproof paper)and leave to cool slightly on the side which will allow them to harden up before taking off the greaseproof paper. Cookies will appear soft/flimsy when out of the oven but they harden up after a few minutes.

IMG_4156

6 steps to a #productive day.

Having a productive and positive day is extremely important to me, and I am sure it is important to you, too! I have put together a selection of my top tips/advice to share with you in the hope that you too will have productive and positive days!  


Have a good morning routine 

For instance, wake up when you actually set your alarm and don’t keep snoozing. Research shows that you wake up feeling better and more positive if you wake up straight away. Also, having a glass of water as soon as you wake up can kick-start your metabolism for the day and your body will absorb vitamins and iron better if you drink water before you eat your breakfast. I also plan my outfit for work the night before so that I don’t have to rush around in the morning trying to figure out what to wear!

Have a filling, uninterrupted and healthy breakfast

Having a filling, healthy breakfast will set you up for a great day in terms of giving you the energy to fulfill your daily tasks, focus and of course keep you nice and full so that you don’t snack unnecessarily and eat junk. I have a great recipe for a healthy breakfast – #OvernightOats I also like to not be interrupted or distracted when eating my breakfast. Have a break from social media/your phone whilst eating your breakfast so you can have your breakfast and think clearly about your goals for the day.

Set your goals and tasks for the day

Having a personal notepad and or post it notes really help me remember what it is I need to do and having a mini to-do list for each day helps me make sure I am staying on track and being as productive as possible. Crossing off tasks is extremely satisfying and I aim not to have more than one mini task left on my list to continue to the next day. These can be both work and personal tasks but I tend to keep my lists separate.

Avoid checking your phone/social media too much 

Did you know that the average person unlocks their phone at least 30 times a day! Which sounds insane. I find it really hard to concentrate on tasks if I have my mobile phone at hand when I need to be doing something that requires full concentration, particularly at work. I find keeping my phone in my work drawer or away in my handbag and only checking during breaks really helps. I also turn off Whatsapp/Social Media notifications if I do have my phone nearby to limit notifications popping up on the screen. Another thing that needs to stop when it comes to phones it having your phone in your hand or staring at your phone whilst having a real-life conversation with somebody!! Improve your social skills and focus on the real-life present moment not what is going on in your phone, you can always catch up later.

Be realistic with your time and expectations

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Only set goals and targets for what you know is realistic timewise and achievable. This counts for both work life and personal. Keep on top of your to-do list for your work but also don’t overbook yourself in your personal life in terms of meeting friends and don’t commit to plans you know you realistically won’t be able to keep.

Excercise

Whether it be going to the gym, or making sure you take a walk on your lunch break. Exercise is key to having a good day. I try to have at least a 10-15minute walk at lunch time, even if it is just walking to the shop, and then I walk home from work which takes around 45mins. Exercise helps to keep you fit, healthy and is known to improve both positivity and productivity.


I hope the above tips and advice help you to have many productive days! Frankie x

@iblogactually

 

 

British Pie Week

To celebrate British Pie Week, I want to share two of my favorite pie recipes that I swear by for lunch for work or even a quick, delicious dinner. Quick and easy to make, what’s not to love about pies?! 


9e73008484334c29705329454ba1f40e

Mushroom, Spinach & Potato Pie 

Prep Time: 15mins / Cook Time: 45mins / Serves: 4

Shopping List/Ingredients:

  1. 400g Spinach
  2. 1 tbsp olive oil
  3. 500g mushrooms of your choice (I use chestnut)
  4. 2 cloves of garlic, crushed
  5. 250ml Vegetable Stock (I use Knorr)
  6. 300g cooked new potatoes (cut into bite size chunks)
  7. 1 tbsp grain mustard
  8. 2 heaped tsp of light creme fraiche
  9. 3 sheets filo pastry
  10. 300g green beans & 300g broccoli – both steamed

Method:

  1. Heat oven to 200c/180c fan/gas 6. Wilt spinach in a colander by pouring a kettle of hot water over the spinach.
  2. Heat half the oil in a large pan and fry mushrooms on a high heat until golden. Add garlic and cook for 1 minute and then pour in the stock, mustard, and potatoes. Let the mixture bubble for a few minutes until reduced. Remove from the heat, add the Creme Fraiche and spinach and then pour into your pie dish and then cool for a few minutes.
  3. Brush the filo pastry sheets with the remaining oil, cut each sheet into quarters and then scrunch up and lay on top of the pie filling. Back for 20-25 minutes until golden.

recipe-image-legacy-id--1110455_10

Easy Fish Pie 

Prep Time: 15mins / Cook Time: 45mins / Serves: 4

Shopping List/Ingredients:

  1. 1kg Potatoes of your choice (Maris Piper are great but I would love to try this with Sweet Potato!)
  2. Knob of butter & splash of milk
  3. 25g Unsalted Butter
  4. 25g plain flour
  5. 4 spring onions, finely sliced
  6. 400ml milk
  7. 400g of fish mix e.g prawns, salmon and cod (or you could make entirely with salmon if you like!)
  8. 1 tsp of Dijon mustard
  9. 30g frozen peas
  10. 80g grated cheese of your choice

Method:

  1. Preheat oven to 200c/180 fan/gas mark 6. Put potatoes in a saucepan and cover with water. Bring to the boil and the simmer until tender. When cooked, drained thoroughly and mash with a splash of milk and knob of butter. Season with desired seasoning.
  2. Put the butter, flour and spring onions in another pan and heat until butter has melted. Cook for 1-2mins. Then whisk the milk in gradually and bring to the boil, stirring to avoid lumps and avoid food sticking to the pan. Cook for 3-4 minutes until thick.
  3. Take off the heat and stir in the cheese, fish, mustard and peas. Spoon into an ovenproof dish. Spoon the mashed potato on top and sprinkle with cheese. Pop in the oven for 20-25mins or until golden and bubbling at the edge.

I hope that you get to make one of these recipes during British Pie Week, or even use for your own lunch or dinner at any other time. Enjoy x

Recipe credits to BBC Good Food

 

 

 

20 Facts About Travelling That You Will Love!

“Adventure is worthwhile.” – Aesop


Travelling for me is the most worthwhile and educating experience I have ever known!

I encourage you all to travel as much as you can when you can, whether it is within your own country and visiting a new city to hopping on a plane or Eurostar and visiting a new city or country.

I have put together 20 facts about travelling that will hopefully encourage you to explore as much of the world as possible!

1. France is the most visited country in the world.

2. Travel has the ability to make you more creative.

3. Las Vegas has the most hotel rooms of any city in the world.

4. Around 300 people get married in Las Vegas every day.

5. Research shows that travel reduces stress, keeps your body healthy inside and out, and boosts brain health.

6. Canada is home to over 3million lakes!

7. Travelling encourages you to step outside of your comfort zone and learn about new cultures.

8. In 1930, female flight attendants had to weigh less than 115 pounds (52kg).

9. Adding salt and pepper to your food is considered highly offensive to chefs in Switzerland.

10. Less than 1% of the world’s population has ever visited Antarctica.

11. Travelling helps you learn who you are and help shape you as a person.

12. It is illegal to feed Pidgeon’s on the streets of San Francisco, California.

13. Tourism accounts for over 5% of the world’s economy.

14. 99% of Lybia is Desert.

15. You’ll realize that your home is more than just where you grew up.

16. You’ll realize how little you actually knew about the world.

17. The UK generates nearly 5 million visitors to the USA per year!

18. City with the most Rolls Royce’s: Hong Kong.

19. Every day about 3,000 Euro are thrown into the Trevi Fountain in Rome and collected at night to be given to a charity.

20. You have the opportunity to educate yourself and learn a new language!

 


“The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.” – Saint Augustine

Explore.Dream.Discover  


 

 

 

 

5minute Avocado DIY Face Mask

Left-over Avocado? Why not make a face mask using just 3 ingredients?

After seeing some leftover ripe Avocados in my fruit bowl I decided to whip up a quick 5-minute face mask. After all, it is the weekend and time to detox.

Literally taking minutes to make I used the following:

Ingredients:

  1. 1 ripe Avocado
  2. 2 Tablespoons of Honey
  3. 22g of raw oats

Method:

  1. Put all in ingredients in a blender until smooth (or like me, you can put all together in a jug and mash together)
  2. Generously spread over face and leave for 15-20 minutes or until it starts to dry up
  3. Wash off with warm water, you will love the results! Literally, cannot stop stroking my face because it is so soft!

Enjoy your smooth skin – you can thank me later! x

Like oats? Check out my breakfast recipe for Overnight Oats.


footer